Sunday, September 28, 2014

Baptism

Last year at our church retreat, my 13-year-old daughter surprised me by being emotional in front of the congregation. She spoke of how much our church impacted her and “helped a lot”. My daughter has always been in church, and of course, been in Covenant Players, but she had never really spoken personally about it. After the retreat, she told me she wanted to be baptized and approached our pastor Harold about it right away.

And this morning, she was baptized.

She was the only one in a white robe, sitting in the front row of the church. The church chairs had been set specially to face the baptismal pool. She had packed her change of clothes and her towel. Her friends came and sat with her for a bit, and then went to go sit with their families.

She had put her hair up in a bun, and she had the order of service. I had asked her so many times if she was ready, I thought she was going to really get mad with me. She sat through the service, and then went up to give her testimony.

She said that she had come to Christ through Covenant Players, especially performing a play where the girl was sad because her dad was away at war. And that had really affected her because she was working on the play with her dad.

And then she sat again and waited to get baptized.

She went into the pool well, and Harald asked her to confess her faith. She did it well, and then she was baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. And she came up sputtering and I went to help her get changed. And she was cold and put on the outfit she chose, and we went back up for the service.

My daughter is baptized. She chose it like a grown-up. She made a decision for Jesus. I am so incredibly proud. She is still a girl, and has trouble remembering to pack her bag for the next day. But the important stuff, she gots.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

MH17

Two months ago yesterday MH17 was shot down over the Ukraine with the loss of life for everyone on board.  The bodies fell into fields and trees, and laid there waiting to be brought back home to the families. 
Everyone who read the newspaper or saw the TV reports was shocked and saddened, and those of us not personally affected moved on with our lives.  Mostly too quickly.
A colleague of mine led devotions on 18 July, the morning that we all heard about the death of 200 strangers.  He read a chapter from THE LITTLE PRINCE.


On the fifth day--again, as always, it was thanks to the sheep--the secret of the little prince's life was revealed to me. Abruptly, without anything to lead up to it, and as if the question had been born of long and silent meditation on his problem, he demanded:

"A sheep--if it eats little bushes, does it eat flowers, too?"

"A sheep," I answered, "eats anything it finds in its reach."

"Even flowers that have thorns?"

"Yes, even flowers that have thorns."

"Then the thorns--what use are they?"

I did not know. At that moment I was very busy trying to unscrew a bolt that had got stuck in my engine. I was very much worried, for it was becoming clear to me that the breakdown of my plane was extremely serious. And I had so little drinking-water left that I had to fear for the worst.

"The thorns--what use are they?"

The little prince never let go of a question, once he had asked it. As for me, I was upset over that bolt. And I answered with the first thing that came into my head:

"The thorns are of no use at all. Flowers have thorns just for spite!"

"Oh!"

There was a moment of complete silence. Then the little prince flashed back at me, with a kind of resentfulness:

"I don't believe you! Flowers are weak creatures. They are naïve. They reassure themselves as best they can. They believe that their thorns are terrible weapons . . ."

I did not answer. At that instant I was saying to myself: "If this bolt still won't turn, I am going to knock it out with the hammer." Again the little prince disturbed my thoughts:

"And you actually believe that the flowers--"

"Oh, no!" I cried. "No, no, no! I don't believe anything. I answered you with the first thing that came into my head. Don't you see--I am very busy with matters of consequence!"

He stared at me, thunderstruck.

"Matters of consequence!"

He looked at me there, with my hammer in my hand, my fingers black with engine-grease, bending down over an object which seemed to him extremely ugly . . .

"You talk just like the grown-ups!"

That made me a little ashamed. But he went on, relentlessly:

"You mix everything up together . . . You confuse everything . . ."

He was really very angry. He tossed his golden curls in the breeze.

"I know a planet where there is a certain red-faced gentleman. He has never smelled a flower. He has never looked at a star. He has never loved any one. He has never done anything in his life but add up figures. And all day he says over and over, just like you: 'I am busy with matters of consequence!' And that makes him swell up with pride. But he is not a man--he is a mushroom!"

"A what?"

"A mushroom!"

The little prince was now white with rage.

"The flowers have been growing thorns for millions of years. For millions of years the sheep have been eating them just the same. And is it not a matter of consequence to try to understand why the flowers go to so much trouble to grow thorns which are never of any use to them? Is the warfare between the sheep and the flowers not important? Is this not of more consequence than a fat red-faced gentleman's sums? And if I know--I, myself--one flower which is unique in the world, which grows nowhere but on my planet, but which one little sheep can destroy in a single bite some morning, without even noticing what he is doing--Oh! You think that is not important!"

His face turned from white to red as he continued:

"If some one loves a flower, of which just one single blossom grows in all the millions and millions of stars, it is enough to make him happy just to look at the stars. He can say to himself, 'Somewhere, my flower is there . . .' But if the sheep eats the flower, in one moment all his stars will be darkened . . . And you think that is not important!"

He could not say anything more. His words were choked by sobbing.

The night had fallen. I had let my tools drop from my hands. Of what moment now was my hammer, my bolt, or thirst, or death? On one star, one planet, my planet, the Earth, there was a little prince to be comforted. I took him in my arms, and rocked him. I said to him:

"The flower that you love is not in danger. I will draw you a muzzle for your sheep. I will draw you a railing to put around your flower. I will--"

I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering. I did not know how I could reach him, where I could overtake him and go on hand in hand with him once more.

It is such a secret place, the land of tears.

When he read that, I realized that we all grow thorns for our own protection.  We use them sometimes on things that do not intend to harm us at all, because we have forgotten the difference.  We strike preemptively.
I wrote the song "Terrible Thorns" that day and finished recording it today.  

Monday, September 15, 2014

180 degrees

(This blog contains potentially offensive material -- anti-gun, pro-Christ.  If that makes you uncomfortable, please stop reading now.)

To put it bluntly, the Newtown mass shooting changed my political views 180 degrees.  
It woke me up to the extent of gun culture in America, and the lengths to which people will go to protect that culture.  Hearing people justify personal armories, particulary ones that include high-powered weapons with large magazines, has made me doubt their reasons for their other political agendas.  
And that was hard, because I was a Republican.  My Christian friends are Republican.  People that I respect are Republican.
I can not engage in debate with them any longer.  They no longer accept me.  I suspect that some of them doubt my Christianity.  How can I explain that I feel that Christianity is bigger than the right to bear arms?  
I have lost friends, friends that I consider Christians, who I served alongside.  I have my temper with them, and I have been bullying.  I hammered my points home until they removed themselves from me.  I have been ungracious.
But I cannot swallow my opinions on it.  The most I can do, is remove myself from conversations that swerve in a "protect my rights" direction.  
Will that be enough?

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Bicycle Thief

This past weekend I had the opportunity to lead a drama workshop at a church I had served about 8 years ago. Small village in Schleswig-Holstein, about a half-hour southwest of Lübeck. The minute I drove up, I knew I had been there before. Memories swarm in in their way.


My daughter was 5 when we were there. We had been on tour for a few months. Earlier that tour, we had been staying in a small town in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, out in the middle of nowhere. My daughter had the chance to ride her bike (small enough to fit in our van) along the empty roads and around the village green with the duckpond. We were staying with a lovely family, and leaving the next morning. Because we were leaving so early, we still needed to pack a few things into the van. We left the bike out for the packing in the morning, and in the morning, it was gone.


There is no one to tell. You do not wake up friendly people to tell them that someone in their village stole a 5-year-old’s bike. Knowing that it was probably drunken youth does not make the loss easier, or easier to explain to your little girl. We carried on, kept her distracted with promises, packed the van, left with the sunrise.


Some little girls do not stay distracted. During the weekend we were working with these confirmation students, helping them to build their own plays and training them in drama, my little girl had a slow walk with the Pastorin where all was revealed about the stolen bike.


Pastorin Martina took an offering for my daughter’s bike in the service. 23€ came in, as well as two offers of a used bike. We took one of the bikes with us, used the 23€ to fix it up with paint and brakes and a bell. My daughter had a new bike to replace the loss.


Being back at this same church last weekend was an oddity. My daughter is now the same age as the confirmation students we were teaching. She is happy in school, and the missing bike is well buried under more recent memories. But the kindness of that weekend was still a blessing to me this weekend.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

I am getting a blog

I said. “I am getting a blog.”

My newly teenaged daughter, with a mouth full of newly placed braces --“What? A Blog. A BLOG.”

“Yeah, you know what a blog is.”

“It’s where people write down their thoughts.”

She thought a bit. Head tilted.

“Mom. No one wants to read your thoughts.”

She reflected.

“I MEAN, your thoughts are so complicated… no one could understand them.”

Good girl.